if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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