that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
