Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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