Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
