their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
