I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
