best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
