I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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