when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
