I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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