Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When are your genitals available?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize