i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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