Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Let's get the cat blown out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
