I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
