the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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