I want to walk on stilts...naked
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
