everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
