Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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