Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
birth control should be required to get into college
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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