He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
