What a fucking waste of an outfit
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
