It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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