Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
why do cheetos always look like penises
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize