if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
