After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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