tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
