I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
