and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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