Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
