that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
