Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
no you cant smoke seaweed
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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