FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
