how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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