Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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