if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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