im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
