I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
