So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
