oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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