I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
