You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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