remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
