its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
