watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
