He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
