Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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