walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
