you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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