This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
