is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
