Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
