doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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