please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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