Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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