You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
