from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
