So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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