Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
