There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
