whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize