Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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