Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you inspire me to be a worse person
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
