Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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