yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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