is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
birth control should be required to get into college
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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