So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
