I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
