You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
